Recommended Reading

Authentic Happiness by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., 304 pages, published by Nicolas Brealey, London, ISBN 1-85788-329-2, £15.00

The book is divided into three parts; the first describes positive emotions distinguishing between those in the past, present and future.  Part two invites us to identify and renew our signature strengths and virtues.  Part three supports us to use our strengths in work, love and relationships and raising children.

The book is written for psychologists and non-psychologists by Martin Seligman, the Fox Leadership Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. It provides academic research and references into the field of positive psychology, providing useful insights into the state of happiness. 

Seligman begins by distinguishing negative from positive emotion, how negative emotion is our first line of defense against external threats and the impact negative emotions have e.g. fight or flight.  Whilst there is no accepted thinking about why we have positive emotion, Barbara Fredrickson claims positive emotions have a grand purpose; they broaden our abiding intellectual, physical and social resources, building up reserves for us to drawn on when a threat presents itself (pg 30).

Seligman acknowledges the external circumstances that influence our happiness such as money, marriage and health and the fact that these are often impractical and expensive to change.  He therefore focuses on what we can change, the internal circumstances such as our satisfaction with the past, optimism about the future and contentment with the present.  Seligman introduces a cognitive behaviour approach of recognizing and disputing automatic negative thoughts to support us with optimism about the future.  Seligman continues by distinguishing pleasures and gratitudes.  Pleasures being delights with clear sensory and strong emotional components and distinguishes gratifications as activities we like doing but are void of emotion and engage us fully as we become totally absorbed.  Gratifications produce a state of ‘flow’ (Csikszentmihalyi, pg 114) where our capabilities, with some stretch, meet the challenges required to achieve the results we seek.

Part two introduces the concept of building on signature strengths.  Seligman suggests that building on strengths and virtues and using them in our daily lives is a matter of choice, it is about discovery, creation and ownership (pg 136).  Part three looks at how we use our strengths in the mansions of life, at work, in love and raising children.  Seligman invites us to seek ‘flow’ in what we do to achieve lasting happiness. 

Seligman concludes the book with a chapter on meaning and purpose. He says that authentic happiness is when we have a sense of meaning, contributing to something wider than just ourselves.

This books compares favourably to other books in achieving fulfillment in your life such as Zander & Zander, 2000, The Art of Possibility.  It adds the academic underpinning of positive psychology which others lack and provides practical techniques and offers self-assessments in a similar vein.  It provides a powerful illustration of Aaron T Beck’s ABCDE cognitive behaviour approach to disputing negative thoughts which is well documented in Neenan and Dryden, 2002, Life Coaching.

This book deepens our understanding of what happiness is by distinguishing positive emotions in the past, present and future.  It provides practical self-assessments for identifying our key strengths and useful techniques to amplify our strengths across our work life, love and family life.  Seligman populates the book with his own personal experiences which add both depth and richness to applying his suggested techniques.

One of the weaknesses in this book is the impact of an overdone strength.  What are the darker sides to our strengths?  Seligman alludes to it when our strengths are taken for granted by others such as when integrity is seen as stubbornness and perseverance is seen as rigidity. However, it would be useful to understand Seligman’s view on the impact of an overdone strength.

In the coaching context, it is very useful as a way to help clients identify their key strengths and capitalize on them to lead a fulfilling life.  Individuals can complete the self-assessment online at no cost. 

As a parent, it provides some useful techniques in developing the positive emotions in our children.  Seligman is controversial in his thinking about positive reinforcement as recommended by the behaviourists such as Skinner and disagrees with the approach.

References:

Neenan, M and Dryden, W, (2002), Life Coaching, A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach (pg 2-4).  East Sussex.  Brunner-Routledge

Pryor, K. (1984), Don’t Shoot the Dog, pg 5. (rev. ed) New York, Bantam Books

Zander R and Zander B. (2000) The Art of Possibility, (pg 40 and 46). Boston. Harvard Business School Press.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, 340 pages, published by Simon & Schuster 1992, ISBN 0-671-71117-2, £10.99

This book is written by Stephen Covey, BSc in Business Administration, an MBA from Harvard University and a Doctor of Religious Education after more than 25 years of working with people within organisations, marriage and family settings.

The book is divided into four parts. Initially Covey introduces us to the concept of paradigms, what they are, how we are influenced by them and how can shift them to enjoy greater personal effectiveness. He also provides an overview of the seven habits and a definition suggesting a habit is an ‘intersection of knowledge, skill and desire’, (pg 47) all of which can be developed. Parts two and three introduce six habits of personal vision, leadership and management, interpersonal leadership, empathic communication and creative co-operation.  The book concludes introducing habit seven of continual self-renewal.

Covey populates the book with examples both from organisational and family contexts either from his own personal experience of from his clients.  The book attends to its audience through its simple yet not simplistic approach and introduces concepts that are readily available to the reader.

The book is written for those interested in personal development and leadership.  It reaches an audience of people working in organisations, individuals seeking to improve relationships, interactions with others and those who are married and or have a family.  Covey provides an insight into principle living and a practical approach as to how to apply the principles in everyday life, thereby honing the habit. 

Habit 1 introduces ‘pro-activity’.  Covey introduces the concept of our circle of influence and circle of concern and how with a pro-active focus, the positive energy and language for possibility enlarges our circle of influence.  On the other hand, if we adopt a reactive focus, concentrating on our circle of concern where we empower things within it to control us, we are less able to affect change (pg 81-85).

Habit 2 invites us to start with a clear understanding of the destination.  He refers to it as ‘begin with the end in mind’.  To begin with the end in mind is an approach to life whereby we are taking responsibility for our own first creation (pg 99).

Habit 3 follows with ‘putting first things first’.  Covey introduces us to the principles of personal management by considering what is urgent and what is important in our daily lives.  Covey invites us to focus on activities which are important but not urgent including enhancing relationships, planning, taking care of ourselves physically and emotionally in pursuit of lasting effectiveness (pg 150-156). 

Habit 4 describes the essence of interpersonal leadership, how to get things done through others.  He introduces the six paradigms of human nature from win:win to lose:lose.  Covey suggests that the most effective paradigm will depend on the situation (pg 211).  Our focus is drawn to win:win where agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial. 

Habit 5 reveals the concept of empathic communication where we ‘seek to understand then to be understood’.  Covey provides a practical list of empathetic listening skills.  Seeking to be understood requires courage suggests Covey. 

Habit 6 is all about ‘synergy’ and recognizing the whole is greater than the sum of the parts (pg 263).  Covey helps us to understand the concept of interdependence where using synergy encourages us to value the differences, respect them and build on the strengths and compensate for weaknesses of others. 

Habit 7 enables us to ‘sharpen the saw’ across four dimensions: physical, social/emotional, spiritual and mental thereby enabling us to continue learning and sustaining our effectiveness (pg 288). 

What Covey achieves in this book, in comparison to others books on Leadership is the practical approach in which we can apply the seven habits in different contexts.  His reference to both organizational and family contexts further underlines the concept of how leadership shows up in our everyday life.   What the book lacks is the underlying academic research, for example looking at the psychological and sociological research on what influences people. 

Whether you are seeking to improve your life professionally or personally, this book is a valuable read.  It provides an insightful step by step approach to understanding more about ourselves and some practical strategies to apply to achieve greater personal effectiveness whether in an organization or as a parent.  Covey calls the reader to action at the end of each chapter by inviting them to undertake some exercises and apply the learning. 

For use within the coaching context, it is educational.  It can be helpful to share some of the concepts to clients enabling them to understand more about themselves, and others in pursuit of even greater effectiveness.

If you are looking for academic research underpinning his findings and suggestions, you will not find it here.  The ideas presented are taken from Covey’s previous experience and his own research of over 200 years of writing on success.  Specific experiments or evidenced research is not shared.  

Turning 30 by Shelia Panchal and Ellen Jackson, 205 pages, published by Piatkus 2005, ISBN 0 7499 2550 7, £7.99

This is a practical ‘doing’ book as described by its authors, Shelia Panchal and Ellen Jackson, both of whom are coaching psychologists. The book was written following their experiences as they approached 30, recognising the dilemmas, choices and social pressures they were facing.  It is simple, yet not simplistic, and down to earth in its approach to support people through the ‘turning 30’ phase of life. 

 The book introduces the idea of the ‘turning 30 blues’ with great humour, reminiscent of Bridget Jones.  It begins with practical steps about making changes, setting goals and staying on track; following on with an opportunity to look at the ‘pizza of life’ (pg 25) comprising four slices; earning a living, love life, nearest and dearest and health and lifestyle.  Each section has its own dedicated chapter focusing on satisfaction levels and changes that can be made to achieve the desired life.  The reader is supported throughout the book with thought provoking goal setting exercises to gain a greater self-awareness and practical steps to achieve in each slice of the pizza. 

This book has the underlying principles and theory of positive psychology and Seligman’s work on authentic happiness.  Chapter two introduces what happy successful people do; from knowing what they want, to being willing to work hard to get it.  The authors invite the reader to discover who are by articulating  strengths, style and values.  They then offer support in setting goals and making it happen through staying motivated with some tips and techniques.

The book is supportive and encouraging; the language used throughout is often humorous yet with a serious message.  The practical exercises are a call to action to making changes.  The book is populated with individual contributions bringing reality and success stories to complement the action orientation.  The book also introduces a cognitive behaviour approach of tackling negative beliefs (pg 105) which is powerful to help recognize an unhelpful inner voice holding us back from goal achievement.

Whilst primarily aimed at those turning 30, the end of each chapter suggests tips that can be applied equally to other stages of life.  For example, focusing on ‘earning a living’ the tips include making your career change real by giving it a name, treating it like a project (pg 91).  Similarly, tips for developing intimate relationships include fighting your own inner critic, keeping a positive attitude and using individual strengths and personality (pg 124).

The book concludes with ‘staying happy’, leaving the reader on an upbeat note on how to stay optimistic.  This is supported by Seligman’s (2003) Authentic Happiness theory that optimistic people are happier and more successful (pg 190). 

The book achieves its’ objective of being a ‘doing’ book, with a principle benefit of providing useful insights and teachings about positive psychology.   It combines humour and practicality and enables the reader to explore all areas of life and an opportunity to make changes to achieve the desired life.

References:

Seligman, M (2003). Authentic Happiness. London. Nicholas Brealey Publishing.

Managing the Worry Circle, Ocean Palmer, 2009, 113 pages, Airplane Reader Publishing Co. Denver, ISBN: 978-09765485-3-9. £11.00.

With the increased social pressures and today’s economic environment, managing our worry circle enables us to improve our life by worrying less.  The book helps us to understand why we worry and what we typically worry about.  It reveals useful steps in how to take control of the most common worries and tips for sustaining our personal management.

Ocean Palmer has taught Managing the Worry Circle

The book teaches the principles of worry, the most common causes of worry from the self-caused to family, social, environmental, work and money worries. The latter part of the book provides some insightful and practical ways to manage worry and take control.

This book compares to themes within Stephen Covey’s, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (2002) in determining what is within our control and what is not.  Additionally the theme of our ability to choose happiness flowing from the theory based on Martin Seligman’s Authentic Happiness (2003).

Palmer acknowledges that worry is normal and human nature (page 4), it is relentless but what we worry about comes and goes.  Palmer refers to the impact of personality on worry where some have a low tolerance for worry and stress and others can sustain more.  People with an expressive outgoing ‘Type A’ personality seem to thrive on stressful events (page 5).  Palmer shares the three kinds of worry: things we can control; things we can influence (but cannot control); and things we cannot influence or control.  Research suggests that 62% of what we worry about is within our control.  The key to managing worry and protecting our life balance and happiness is to choose what we will and will not worry about.  Whether our worry is family, money, environmental or work related, we may be able to influence it but not control it.  However we can control our response to it.  Working with work worries, Palmer suggests that we can change what we do in life and our levels of commitment.  To reduce our work worries, he suggests staying positive, make choices and take bold steps in making changes in our roles, jobs or organizations if we are unfulfilled. 

There is an underlying basis of cognitive behaviour theory where Palmer refers to what we think shapes how we feel (page 82) and how we feel triggers our actions.  Worrying about things we cannot control is a waste of time, refusing to worry about unnecessary things wastes less time and choosing to think about things we cherish is a good investment of time.

Palmer concludes with seven steps to manage our worry circle. 

·        Take control of what we worry about and discard the rest. 

·        Develop strength from who we really are and balance the perception of others. 

·        Look for the positive in life and find it.

·        Be cognisant of things we don’t do which reflects our core values and beliefs and sets boundaries for our life (page 94).

·        Live with passion and urgency.

·        Set goals and stay busy which automatically provides less time to worry.

·        Design a personalized list of who we want to be that reflects who we are.

Anyone reading this book will identify with some of the insights and examples Palmer uses to illustrate the most common worries.  The book is populated with personal anecdotes from Palmer’s extensive travels offering some powerful life lessons.  It is both interesting and easy to read offering practical tips which are easy and fast to implement to eradicate unnecessary worry.

References:

Covey, S. (2002). The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (pg 81-87). London. Simon & Schuster

Seligman, M (2003). Authentic Happiness. London. Nicholas Brealey Publishing.